Does God Really Change People?

                I was twenty-four years old with a three-year-old son who’s mother was doing everything she could to keep me from seeing him.  His mother was my second wife.  The first one was supposed to pick me up at the hospital when I was being discharged after a seven month stay.  She didn’t show because she had run off to Mexico with a friend of mine.  On the rebound I met my second wife.  She was trying to get off drugs and was leaving her two daughters with family until she succeeded.  We started living together with the goal to bring her daughters back to their mother.  Shortly after the birth of my son we went to Reno and got married so we could continue to get welfare money for me and the baby.  A little over a year later she decided I was in the way when she wanted to bring guys home from the bars.  So, she kicked me out and filed for divorce.  I was devastated!  We had been together for three years.  I was a father to two beautiful daughters, one of which was an illegitimate child who had never known any other father, and a son who was the apple of my eye.  I was being denied fatherhood rights to the girls and would have been denied the same rights for my son if not for the courts.

                My lifelong dream of having a family had been stripped from me.  I became bitter and started acting out.  Women became useful for one thing and I sought out as many as I could find for that one thing wanting nothing else.  That is, until I met a young girl who looked past the bitterness and fell in love with me.  After a short time of dating Una informed me that if I was going to continue to date her I would have to give up the other women.  I agreed to her demands.  In due time she asked me to marry her.  I was still bitter, but I thought to myself, “Sure.  Why not?  What’s another divorce?”  As we made plans for marriage she told me that she wanted nothing to do with any church because they were all fanatics.  I quickly agreed because I felt the same way.  Three days after Una turned sixteen, her mother, my dad and his family, along with my eighty-three year old aunt, took a drive to Carson City, Nevada.  We were married at a cute little chapel.  I had no hope that this would be any different than the other two marriages.  However, being married made life easier than being single and seeking out dates.  I felt no real sense of commitment and I am sure that if something dramatic didn’t happen that I would hurt Una, and that it would be ruthless.  I think that I would have taken all the frustration from the others out on her.

                About a year after we were married, having a small baby daughter who was born about nine months after we had exchanged vows, I met up with a young man who was destined to help lead us to Christ.  Not long after Warren and Alice Bennett came into our lives Una asked me why I never tried to get even with people.  I thought about it and told her that I think it has to do with a lesson I had learned as a child.  My family had gone to a little church for about six years.  The one thing I took from that tenure was the golden rule, do unto others what you would have them do to you.  I told Una that I had always tried to live by that rule.  She said that she hoped our children would be like that.  I said that if we would raise them in a church they probably would.  So, we started going to church.  It wasn’t long before I was faced with a decision.  I knew that if I chose to accept Jesus my life would never be the same and that there would be no turning back.  It was scary.  When I committed my life to Christ I committed myself to Una.  I was transformed in some ways almost immediately.  However, the complete transformation is a lifelong process.  What happened quickly was a new attitude toward life.  I gained a new perspective and my wife gained a new man.  God had changed me.  He had done what nothing else could do.  Until I turned it over to Him I could only accept failure.  Everything in my life had failed and that was all I knew.  I had been counseled by secular counselors, had read self-help books, taken well-meaning advice.  Nothing had worked until God took over.  Since then my life has been a wonderful series of successes.  Una and I have been happily married for thirty-six years.  We raised two fantastic daughters who are now living legacies to what God has accomplished in our lives.  I have enjoyed three successful careers and earned three college degrees, as well as, completing a three-year ministerial program.  Success is a normal function of my life now that God has changed me.  He continues to work through me.  I am now proudly witnessing His transforming power at work in my son’s life.  He has given Rodney five years of a new life free from drug addiction and is providing new and exciting opportunities for him in the church and in his personal life.  Can God change lives?  What do you think?

Is There Room in the Kingdom for a Murderer?

                I met a man yesterday who has spent a large part of his life in prison.  At fifty-one he is just beginning to experience a life in the real world.  He has been a heroin addict most of his life.  Having been clean now for about a year and a half he is starting to come to terms with God.  In his younger days he and a partner started robbing drug dealers.  One of these robberies went bad and he ended up killing two of the dealers and kidnaping seven other people.  The judge told him that he showed no remorse.  His response was why should he for a couple of drug addicts.  The judge reminded him that he too was a drug addict.  Over his turbulent life he has been married five times and is now living alone.  He tells me that growing up he was pulled by two different religions, Nazarene and Pentecostal.  This left him confused about church.  He was left-handed and his mother, a clinical psychologist, sought to cure him of his left-handedness.  The institution she committed him to used strategies that broke him and forced him to become right-handed.  I really doubt that this had much to do with his troubled life, but I can assure you that it didn’t help.  His father has never given up on him.  A couple of years ago his dad found out that he had been homeless for over a year and a half.  He brought his son home, gave him a mobile home and small pick-up truck.  Shortly after this his father had a heart attack.  If it wasn’t for this son providing CPR he would be dead.  This young man tells me that he owes his life to his father.  I feel blessed that God has placed me in his life and I pray that I can have a redeeming effect on him.  At this point, he believes in God, but he wants nothing to do with church.  He finds that at times he is angry with God and he has no compunction in letting Him know that he is angry.  Can a man begin life at fifty-one?  I believe it can be done and I pray that it is this young man’s experience.  Redemption comes through the cross.  The same Messiah who gave Himself for me, gave Himself for this man.  God can and will use him to do powerful work in His kingdom if His Holy Spirit will enter his heart and bring acceptance of the salvation offered.  Do you believe this?  I do.

Having Done Evil

            Having done evil, what keeps one from doing more?  The answer for many is quite simple – nothing.  The pleasure derived from the evil is enticing enough to draw them back to that simple pleasure.  Thus, the evil is repeated and often with greater zeal.  This is especially true where there are no consequences or the consequence is minimal.  Unfortunately, consequence is often believed to occur only if one is found out.  For this one, there is no cost for the evil done.  This conscienceless individual cares nothing if another is hurt by the evil done.  In fact, it is this hurt that is often the object of the evil perpetuated.  So, the evil continues, dragging the one caught up in it done to an abyss so full of darkness sight is impossible, life becomes death, and self is no more.  At this state all individuality is given over to the Prince of Darkness and hope is no more.  Which brings us back to the original question.

                Having done evil, what keeps one from doing more?  All are born with an innate conscience.  This conscience is somewhat of a nag.  It is always there to remind us that the cost of doing evil is very high, the consequences can be eternal.  Most of us want more from life than to be given to darkness.  This doesn’t mean that there is no pleasure in evil.  It simply means that the price for the pleasure is too much.  I once tried mescaline, a very powerful illegal hallucinogenic.  It scared me.  Not because it was scary in and of itself.  It frightened me because I liked it and I knew that if I gave myself to its enticement that I would only live for the pleasure it could bring, even though that pleasure was not based in reality.  I wanted more from life, so I never took it again.  I’m not saying that is the only reason people run from evil, but it is a powerful reason.  By our striving to not do evil again we find that life has more to offer.  Life offers more for less than evil does.  There is no abyss when one is given to doing that which is good.  Instead of sinking into darkness, one is transported into light.  Carried to its extreme, goodness introduces us to heavenly treasure.  We find a God who offers gifts that exceed what evil can give to an infinitesimal degree!  Sight is deepened, life becomes eternal, and hope soars.

            We are human and we err.  The question is not whether or not we do evil.  We will do evil, without question.  Thus, having done evil, what keeps one from doing more?  Choose to do no more.  Choose life.

‘Til Death Do Us Part

        The words “‘Til death do us part” are uttered at the end of the most sacred promise we humans make to each other.  A promise that is now only kept, at best, half of the time.  This being true, it begs the question, “Why?”  A simple question with a not so simple answer.  In order to grasp the enormity one must first come to grips with the complexity of the promise and all of its ramifications.

        In most of the modern world marriage is approached by a man and a woman who have strong feelings of love.  Because of this love they mutually agree that they should spend the rest of their lives with each other.  They agree to be faithful to each other.  Children are coveted.  Happy times are anticipated.  After all, haven’t they already been sharing happy times?  However, if they are to share marital bliss, they must first share a covenant.  This is where it gets sticky.  The covenant is a promise they make to each other, and to God.  A promise that states they will not only share the good times, but the bad times; that they will not only share in days of health and wealth, but in days of sickness and poverty; that they will decide to love the other even when the other is not so lovable.  However, the covenant is not dependent on love.  It is only dependent on covenant.  What makes this so serious is that the covenant is not only between the man and the woman, it is between them and God.  One cannot get more complex than this.  Unfortunately, there are many who break faith with their creator.  Once this is done, it is a small step to break faith with their mate.  When this is done, faith is broken with children and other family members, with friends, and even with self.  Even though the covenant ceases to be “til death do us part,” the pain from broken faith does not.  You see, this pain does go on “til death do us part.”  And, there is nothing we can do take the pain away.  The one who has violated the covenant and the others who have been damaged will always feel the pain.

        Yet, the third party in this covenant is able to bring healing to damaged lives.  That’s the business He’s in.  For those who have suffered a broken marriage, know that God has not broken the covenant.  He remains faithful and true.  In fact, He goes beyond the summation of “til death do us part” on to eternity.  He is able to help you pick up the pieces and begin anew.

        For those of us who have been blessed with a faithful union we know the beauty of those words, “til death do us part.”  As we age, and journey through the wonder of life, traversing the deep valleys, climbing the steep mountain peaks, sailing the tempestuous seas, and soaring the heavenly skies, we have discovered the truth of God’s promise that the two shall become one.  We have learned that the rewards of keeping the covenant transcend everything else life has to offer.  Our marriage becomes our crowning glory, our gift to each other, our gift to our family, and our gift to our God.

Being Retired

                I am still coming to grips with being retired.  I have worked all my life.  My first job was selling Christmas cards at age seven and there have only been short periods of unemployment since then.  I guess you could say my life has been somewhat defined by working.  Of course, this could be said about most retirees.  So, what makes mine different?  I can’t really say that it is.  What I can say is that it came too early.  I had planned on going on for a few more years.  However, the pain in my leg saw it differently.  Unfortunately, the pain became so severe that I had to start taking a strong narcotic just to deal with the pain.  The pain and the effects of the medication made work impossible.  So, I went on disability retirement.  Thus far, it has been good.  Una was also able to go on disability retirement, due to a work injury.  We have sufficient funds and life is good.  We have traveled the country in a motor home and are still on our journey.  Most days I don’t really miss working.  On the other hand, there are many nights filled with dreams about working.  I would be lying if I said I didn’t miss working.  Part of it is my chosen career, teaching.  It might be self-serving to say that I made a difference.  Yet, I strongly feel that every teacher’s influence has the potential to be life-changing.  I was a good teacher and I enjoyed teaching.  This played into my decision to retire.  I knew that given what I was going through with disability that it was impossible to give my students 100%.  Part of my missing work has to do with providing.  My life has been partly defined by my ability to provide for my family.  I am a provider.  Sure, I know that my retirement is still providing, but I am doing nothing to earn the money.  And, sure, it could be said that I have already earned the money.  There is merit to this.

        In the end, I am retired.  Life is good and fulfilling.  I am reading a lot, catching up on television shows that I didn’t time for before, and my wife and I are really enjoying time with each other.  All-in-all I feel good about retirement.  It is a new phase in my life – a good phase.  Una and I are loving the blessings God continues to provide.  We live in a beautiful country where there is more to see than we have time in our lives.  However, because we are retired, we are seeing more than most people ever dream.  I’m sure that as we progress I will miss work less, while enjoying retirement more.

Why RV?

        Since we decided to sell our home and go on the road there have been a number of people who have not understood our decision.  First of all, I admit that it is not an easy thing to do.  It requires giving up the stability of a stationary home.  We had to get rid of a lot of stuff.  Simply because the space in a recreational vehicle is limited.  It can be a little scary to place oneself in a seemingly homeless position.  And, it isn’t easy knowing that some of your friends think you have basically lost it.  We have had a lot of people ask us where we are going to live.  Having never experienced this way of life, we understand how many are perplexed.

        About eight years ago we bought our first RV, a twenty-three foot travel trailer.  We acquired it as a place to live in while we sold one home and purchased another.  After the house thing was taken care of, we used the RV as it was intended, for camping trips.  Since we both worked in education and had summers off, we took some road trips.  These road trips actually started without an RV – we tent camped.  On these early trips we started seeing just how accessible the beauty of our country is.  After a trip to Yellowstone in the travel trailer we decided that we needed something a little larger.  So, we traded it in on a twenty-seven foot fifth wheel travel trailer with a slide out in the living area.  Wow!  What a difference that slide out made!  We took two major road trips in the fifth wheel in 2005 and 2007, along with many smaller road trips.  As we traveled throughout the nation we met many wonderful people.  Some of these were full-time RVers.  That is, people who live in their RV all of the time.  We were intrigued.  However, we really didn’t think it was for us.  Until we found that when we had to end our two month road trips we didn’t really want to.  We discovered that life on the road can be wonderful.  In ‘07 as we sat outside our rig enjoying a beautiful Montana sunset I said to Una, “You know, no matter what RV we could have it would never be as big as our house, but every night we step out into God’s living room and it is immense and beautiful!”  It was nearly a year later when Una said she thought she would like to become a full-time RVer.  So, we started the preparation.  It was no small feat getting everything slimmed down to fit into a RV.  However, we were determined to do it if it meant giving stuff away.  Fortunately, we were able to sell most of it.  After retirement, we were able to sell the house, get what was left into our RV and a small storage shed at our daughter, Shannon’s, house.  We can see how that one day we will probably do another slim down to get rid of the storage shed.  It may be hard to believe, but when we got rid of all the stuff we felt a tremendous weight being removed.  It is a very freeing experience.  When we hit the road we made a pact that if either one of us decides that we are through with this lifestyle we will stop and move back into a stationary house.  That day has not yet come, and we really can’t imagine it coming.  We are loving the lifestyle.  We still have a home; it just happens to be on wheels.  Our home is now a thirty-eight foot motorhome with two slide-outs, one in the living area and one in the bedroom.  It kind of feels like living in a small apartment without people on the other side of the walls, ceiling, or floor.  The rest of our home is the United States.  We are still stepping out into God’s living room every night.  Our cost of living is actually less than it was with a stationary house.  We have seen sights that defy description, met many wonderful people, had varied church experiences (our church home in the Houston area refers to us as their mobile church), and find ourselves free to go and do whatever we please.  We honestly do not miss being tied to a stationary house.  To those who think we have lost it, we can only say, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.  I will say that having the internet has been a wonderful asset.  We are able to keep up with family, old friends, and new friends.  It also enables us to take care of business conveniently.  I know that this lifestyle is not for everyone, but I can’t help but wonder how many would choose it if they could experience what we have.

Being a Dad

        From viewing the crystal blue eyes of my newborn son, to seeing a beautiful daughter a nurse had to convince me was mine, to a daughter with a thatch of red hair looking like she was wanting to fight, being a dad has defined my life for the past forty years.  There is nothing that has given me more pleasure.  It has been the fulfillment of dreams having existed since I was a small boy.

        Having come from a family with an abusive father, it has always been my goal to be the very best father I could be.  However, the real challenge came from not having the proper example.  So, I prepared with classes on child development and psychology.  Yet, the real breakthrough came when I committed my life to Christ and looked to my heavenly Father as an example.  Even though I can’t claim perfection, my life is proof of having taken fatherhood serious to the extreme.  None of my children will ever be able to say that I have abused them in any way.  Each of them will always be able to give testimony to my unconditional love.  I am proud of them individually for their own merits.  And, even though I would like to think I have had a part, each of them have become successful adults through their own efforts.

        My children mean more to me than anything.  They are among the greatest gifts I have ever received from God.  The only gifts greater are His love and my wife.  To have enjoyed the pleasure of parenting these precious gifts carries more meaning than I could possible delineate in this blog.  Each stage of their growth, from infancy through adulthood, has been a miraculous experience.  In each phase they have shown God’s greatest love to me.  From Rodney’s kungfuy, to Brook’s hatcha, to Shannon’s precise time-keeping, they have brought joy that can only be found in being a dad.  And now, as Rodney finds his way in the Lord, Shannon begins life with a new mate, and Brook continues to mother her brood, I continue to be elated in simply being their dad.